My Christmas miracle.

At this time last year I was counting the minutes for you to be here. You'd said you'd spend the 25th here and you did. I picked you up with my car and on my way to pick you up I was as happy as ever. When you got in the car I started shaking like a leaf in the wind and I had to concentrate really bad not to let it show. I guess, deep within I did know I loved you, I was just too naive and too convinced that you would never like me back. That is probably why I  needed so long to accept that I was in love with you.

I am not sure this time why I am writing this. I guess this is the only way I can reach you, or at least I imagine I can do so. So yes, this is me reaching out to you again. I just want to tell you I'd really like to have peace. I accept fully I won't ever be part of your life, I'd just like for us to get along and not hate on each other the way we've been doing until now  I want to be able to say hello and get a smile back, and above all, I want you to know for sure, that if you ever need me, I will be here waiting for you and that I still am the friend you once found in me.

I decided from today on, I am gonna have nothing but good feelings for you. Yes, I don't forget that really bad things between us happened. I am sure they happened because you could have not done it any better. I know you did not mean to hurt me, you were just trying to do what you thought was best for you, and it is sad to say so, but I am sorry to see that they ended up taking a bigger toll on you than on me. And yes, many mistakes were made, but I want this to be my Christmas miracle: to leave all ill thoughts behind, stop questioning your character and be able to look at the future cherishing your memory, treasuring the good things and leaving all the pain behind.

I wish you could do the same for me.

Update 2022: I still miss you and think of you and I'd love to reach out.