fate

where were you all this time? I been searching for you for so long... and you were
right here. I think I might start believing in coincidences!

No need to worry

I hear your voice everyfuckingwhere. I might need a shrink. Oh wait, I already have one.

Steps

I know you get me,

you know I'm just pretending.

when my words are like knives,

I'm only hiding between the lies.

Just take that step you need to take

you'll see my words entirely change

you'll hear the sweetest things you've heard,

they'll be the truest thing I've said.

Just take that step towards me

I'll turn your doubts in certainties

I'll look you in the eyes, you'll see

my secret will be reality.

And if you really don't know how,

just give me a sign I understand

just hold me tight, just grab my hand

just let me show you who I am.

Under the influence

I'm not drunk:
-I can certainly hold my liquor
I'm not nervous:
-I have nerves of steel.
I'm not shy:
-I couldn't care less what people think about me.
I'm not insomniac:
-I used to sleep at least 8 hours a day till I realized you existed.

It's just you:
-I'm like the tides under the moon's influence.

today you'll cover me with your heat.
my skin will crisp with your embrace.
I'll close my eyes and let your light shine upon me.
Please, don't let it be the last time.

choices

and he let her go because he thought sticking to the known would be a safer choice. Little did he know, she was the one who was meant to make him happy.

Paréntesis.

(Te) espero.

todavía (te) espero.

Discoveries

Suddenly she opened her starry eyes and realized she didn't need to look any further: the hapiness she had been searching for her whole life was right within her heart.

Coming clean

I know, I have a long history of trying to hide what I really feel. But there's always been a reason for it: I'm scared, I'm childish, I'm scared, I'm so damn scared of being hurt. I'm scared of losing face. I was scared of losing you if I had told you what was actually going on with me. But now you are gone, I already lost you even though I never had you, so now I can come clean. It might be mainly to myself, 'cuz no one's ever gonna read this anyways, but come clean at last.

I do like you. Yes, I was flirting with you. No, I don't want us to be "just friends"-even though I was willing to content myself with that.

But if I actually want you to know the whole truth I need to elaborate in the "like" part: This is not a Facebook "like", it is an "I want to share my life with you" kind of "like", this is a way of liking someone I hadn't felt for such a long time, that I had almost forgotten I could feel this way. This is a "like" as in "when you are around me, I'm complete"

I know, cognitively, as a matter of fact, that you would never lay eyes on me. I know you have a happy life with someone else. I've seen her, she is a thousand times better than me. I can't compete with her, I can't compete with all the time you two have spent together, with her youth, much less with her beauty. And is not that I would want to either. Even if I could, I'd hate to be one who goes stealing people's happiness away. 

I just had this little tiny hint of hope deep within my heart you could see me as I see you; all superficial things aside: age, background, looks...and discover in me that someone that makes the sun shine upon your heart, that person I found in you. There was this microscopical spark inside me wishing you would give me a chance.

In real life, I would be now trying to take back everything I just said, but this time I am willing to put myself out there for you, let my bare heart exposed to any possible wound, because I'm convinced you are worth it and I guess because I'm still hoping you'll have a change of heart, because I still wish you'll call me and tell me we need to talk, because I daydream one day I will come home, and you'll be waiting for me on my door and you'll tell me you read this and knew at once I was talking about you.


Now I read this and I see how selfish I am, having nothing to offer, having this humble soul and wanting you, with all your perfection in my life... maybe that's why it was so easy to fake it when I felt I had to...

Fragile

Every time you try to come back to me all the pain you caused me comes back. All the time you tortured me and all those bad memories come rushing to my head and I just want to hide. Even if I scream on the top of my lungs it is not so, the wounds are still open and they are too many.
I don't want to be harsh to you, even though you deserve that and more. I wish I had a heart of stone so I could just be mean and pay you back with the same coin, but I still am the soft, kind, sweet girl you fell in love with centuries ago.
Please, let me go.
I don't want to feel so fragile again, never ever.